Through the past two weeks, I have worked with my counterpart overseas to ensure that the message we have here remains the same in Czech; that our documents that have been created so far are available to members in their country.

When I started this in April 2008, I had no idea how many people would be contacting the info email address or how slowly or quickly we would grow. I sat in front of my computer praying that somewhere, somebody would write for help. It took almost a year before there was a “we” and not just me. Many have joined us on the conference call and some still phone in to maintain a connection to the recovery we have.

I am grateful to see our fellowship grow to Hawaii, Canada, Czech Republic and can see that there is much work to be done for our small fellowship.

We need literature to be written, from a “Big Book” to pamphlets and other material for the recovering PA.

We also need members to share their stories and other information, in a general way, for our blog.

Stay tuned for links to our Czech brothers and sisters in recovery from Porn Addiction.

In Service,

Scott-Admin

 At PAA we do develop freedom from active addiction to pornography. (In all of it’s forms) That is our number one mission, to develop abstinence from porn viewing. However, we do have another mission in PAA that cannot be over looked. We are here to develop healthy relationships through a spiritual program.

 Before coming to PAA my relationship with my partner was horrible. We verbally fought weekly (and sometimes daily) about my usage of pornography. I also had no concept of a Higher Power or even what that meant. I was spiritually bankrupt and that loss spilled out into my relationships.

 I lied to my parents and stole hundreds of dollars from my father through elaborate ways. I lied to my partner as I said I was done with porn, but would later be found viewing once more. Unable to stop viewing and having my relationship torn through abuse and mistrust, I stumbled into the rooms of PAA.

 I was hopeful about my recovery and went in headfirst. I now can proudly tell you that I love it. Also, my relationship is moving forward. I don’t escalate the conversation anymore and I have learned to keep my anger down to a rock bottom. I can only say this because through PAA I have been saved.

 Free to Live: Being free from pornography today, I will celebrate my new spiritually based relationships. I will honor my partner with commitment. Being free to live I will gain more free time and watch the days build up into a city of inspiration for newcomers. I will be able to look the other way when confronted by porn because I like my spiritually enhanced life better than when I viewed porn years ago. I will count the days of freedom.

J.

Porn is an instant “yes”.

Growing up, some of us had such huge fears based on family experience and maybe abuse and neglect, that “no” meant beatings, shame or other abuse.

Over time, our needs got met in a selfish manner. We got what we wanted not matter what in order to validate our needs. Today, the consequences of those actions are detrimental to the growth we seek in recovering from our addiction.

Some of us also had trouble saying “no”. We feared the negative responses and trashed our own boundaries only to seek out immediate releif from the pain.

With a higher power’s help, we can say “no”, keep our boundaries and not be hurtful about the process.

With a higher power’s help, we can accept “no” and recognize that our higher power may be doing for us, what we could not do for ourselves.

When the feelings of relapse are appearing, we need to ask for our higher power’s help in saying “no”.

Most of us walk around in fear and shame over our addiction to porn: afraid to get triggered and shame about our feelings of usage and what can be a normal and healthy sexuality. This creates an almost immediate need to find an outlet for the constantly created fear and shame. And the cycle begins again. Shame and fear fixed with an addiction to porn that only leads to more shame and fear.

There is a level of natural attraction built in to our human psyches. This is normal. This is not to be feared or shamed. If we did not have this, there would have been one or two more humans on the planet and then the bugs might have ruled for the past 30,000 years.

Our behaviors in the past have created shame even around natural and normal arousal and attraction.

Learning to define what is “normal” sexuality and accept ourselves for having natural feelings is part of the path of growth and recovery. Learning how to deal with our feelings of arousal in a healthy and mature way is part of growth and recovery.

The Member’s Forum at that early beginning was open for all to see.

After some serious concerns regarding anonymity and a host of other issues with spammers registering, logging in and posting  ads and other illicit stuff, we took a group conscience and decided that the board would not be visible to “passers-by” and that registration would be required to post or view the topics.

While this might slow down some users who wish to post immediately, tradition one covers this topic. “1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon PAA unity.”

Our posts need to be for ourselves, and much like what is heard at face-to-face meetings, what is said here, stays here.

For a few days the registration was down after upgrading the board to the latest version. Thanks to our incredible hosting company, we were able to restore the board after it went down completely this evening.

So, why all the security? Why do you have to register to get the conference call number or to post?  This is to protect our recovery process for each individual.

Even our conference call meetings need to be kept confidential in the spririt of the 12th tradition which states:  “12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.”

Admin-SP

Our PAA symbol has five sides-
Unity
Service
Truth
Recovery
Freedom

What do they represent?

It is a “WE” program.

With Unity, we get Service, which gives us the courage to seek the Truth, so that we can begin the Journey of Recovery towards the life of Freedom from PA.

Through the admission of powerlessness in the first step, “We admitted…”, we get Unity.

Together we do service by sharing our experience, strength and hope with each other, setting up meetings, sponsoring, helping others and other PA’s and other actions which support Unity. As we build on the previous foundations, we ask god for the courage to find our truth by going through the steps to recovery that leads to freedom from porn addiction.

The shame and fear of being found out about our “secret” addiction is what perhaps keeps the cycle going and keeps us from healthy relationship with others – sexual or otherwise.

Behind that is a fear of rejection: not being able to please someone, and not being good enough. This also leads to placing more power on someone else’s opinion of ourselves over our own.

SP

We ask god in a simple way to take us back to our path – the path that we and our higher power have started to walk. We must turn from the selfish indulgences of shame, guilt, fear and remorse. They only make the thinking worse.

We can pray and take action to help others.

The third step prayer for PAA can be helpful when used daily:

We let go, and we we let god take us to the place he needs us to be in.

SP

As we hear in almost all 12-step programs, “One day at a time”.

We can do almost anything one day at a time. If we leave tomorrow to God, and yesterday in the past, we can stay in the moment.

In the moment that we are in, we can change our thinking and actions by turning them over to a higher power and not doing harmful actions to ourselves or anyone around us.

As we stop thinking about our addiction and the behavior moment by moment and focus on the rest of our lives, the obsession lifts.

Soon, we have met our goal of one more day day addiction free, just letting God handle the moments.

SP

Whatever we are looking to accomplish, no matter how large or small the goal might be, it is done through groups of small actions that together achieve the result.

Small actions add up.

If we want recovery in our addiction, we must take abstinence in small chunks of life…one second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Through the process we learn patience with ourselves and with our higher power.

Could any of us have believed that ONE day was possible when we started?

SP